Unity Within The Family

This week in class we talked about how families can be affected by step-parents or even situations dealing with adoption. It was interesting to hear the different views people especially children can have towards having a step parent or being adopted.

First of all, typically whenever I have thought of a step-parent I have thought of how they are portrayed in movies like Cinderella. I would think of someone coming into a family's life and just completely taking charge, even though I did know this wasn't realistic. In class though, I learned of different approaches a step-parent might take when trying blend with a new family or trying to blend two different families. Ways such as taking the buddy-buddy approach where they just try to be friends with their step-kids or other times coming into a new family and full on trying to discipline the children before they have fully been able to get to know them and become comfortable with them. Both of these approaches don't tend to work. It's when they meet in the middle that it offers better results for both families. The coolest thing, I think, to hear about though was when two different families were still able to come together and become one family unit instead of two separate ones. It is always amazing to see two families become one because they are willing to work together, compromise, and make an effort into making something work they didn't ever think would.

OOPS!!!!!!

Well, I apologize for having missed blogging last week. Last week was a rough one for me, so I apologize for having not posted last week. This entry today will make up for last week and also include this week's post.

Anyways, last week we discussed the importance of fathers, and the role they play in children's lives while this week we talked about parents and the roles that both parents play in a child's life. Personally, I am very close to my dad. For as long as I can remember, I have always had a close relationship with my dad, always been a "daddy's girl." He was always the one I could relate to whenever I got into an argument with my mom. I definitely would not be the same person I am today if I didn't have my dad in my life.

It was rather interesting.  I read an article recently of the importance of fatherhood and the effects a father can have on one's childhood. It talked of studies that had been done with children whose father was actively involved in their lives and whom they had a good relationship with. These children, the studies showed, tended to be doing better in school. They were able to handle problems, stress, and pressure more effectively. Other ways fathers had somewhat of an influence over their children showed in the relationship they had with their wives. When boys would see their father interact with their mother, and saw that they had a good relationship with each other and saw their father respect their mother, it taught them how they should treat women as well. Not just those girls in their family, but girls in general. Going the other way, when girls would see their father treat their mother with respect, it teaches them how they should expect to be treated by the opposite sex. I found it interesting when I read this article because this is how it was and is in my own family. My brother, sister, and I were raised and taught to always strive and maintain a good relationship not only with one another but with our parents as well. Even my parents have always had a good relationship with one another. There marriage may not be perfect, and there may be a road bump every now and then but they have always shown each other respect and been able to work through it because they have a good relationship. This taught us how to treat each other as well. Seeing my dad treat my mom with respect taught my brother how he is to treat his wife. It has taught my sister and I what we should expect as far as the way we should be treated by any guy that comes into our lives.

Both of my parents have always had an active role in my life. They have always tried to make sure they knew how I was doing and if there was anything I needed, they always tried to support me and help me. Parents definitely have an effect on children and most definitely have a hand in the way their child grows up and turns out. Although it helps to see a study, I can say that this is true because of my own experiences and how I was raised in my own life.

The Importance of Communication

This week in class we have been discussing the importance of communication not only in marriage but in relationships in general. I find it interesting how every week there is something in the lessons prepared by Brother Williams that seem to relate to my life. This week has been a learning experience for me, teaching me how to better communicate with those around me. The only thing, however, is it seems like sometimes communicating with the other person doesn't always seem to work. What do you do when you try talking to the other person, but they don't seem interested in talking to you? Do you continue to try, or do you just let it go? Communicating, yes, is an essential part of any relationship. It is necessary if one is to work through whatever issues may arise, but the key part of communication is BOTH parties have to be willing to do it. For me personally, I don't like talking about my problems. I tend to just bottle my emotions up inside of me, never to see the light of day. Throughout my life, as I've done this, I've learned this isn't healthy... well for me at least. Rather than just go away as is my hope, it eats at me until it does come out at which point it comes out in an explosion. I've really learned a lot about communication this week, and different ways people can communicate, different ways I can communicate with those I have a relationship with.

The Power of Thoughts...

One of the most profound things we talked about in class this week was a story Brother Williams told us about a woman he once helped. This woman struggled with depression for 20 years. How crazy is that?!? 20 YEARS!!!! Anyway, this woman avoided the public like the plague. She slept the majority of the day and was insecure about herself in ways that I had never seen or heard of. I do know people who struggle with depression; I, myself, am one of them. But I have never heard of it being to the extreme that this woman was at. As I listened to Brother Williams tell this story, it just amazed me at how far she came through her life. From being at a point in her life where she was diagnosing herself with how many days she would live to making a complete transformation where she could go out in public and be completely comfortable with herself as well as getting her children back after a court order had been issued saying she would NEVER get them back is just absolutely incredible! It made me really think about just how powerful thoughts can be. They can affect us in both good and bad ways, whether they come from those around us or from ourselves. One thing Brother Williams said that really seemed to impact me and stick with me was to look for the source of our emotions. What thoughts are we having that are leading to the emotions we are having both positive and negative? In my situation of depression, it is similar to the story of this woman. I have never been the most confident person or felt completely comfortable and secure with myself and who I am. So for me, hearing this story and listening to the lessons and methods this woman learned in order to help her clear up her depression was very beneficial to me. Just from this story, I learned not only a lot about life and ways to help me deal with it, but I also learned a lot about myself and just the way that I think. I am so grateful Brother Williams was willing to share this story with the class and sort of feel like maybe one of the reasons he shared it was specifically for me to hear. I'm not saying that he was inspired to share it because he felt like I needed to hear it, but I do believe the Lord gave me this opportunity to learn from another who has dealt or been around people that deal with this kind of thing, yet were able to make a complete transformation.

It is so true that everything we do or every emotion we feel begins with a thought. It is a matter of determining what that thought is especially if it is causing a negative emotion. Thoughts truly are a powerful thing. They can lead us in the right or wrong direction if we are not careful. A goal that I have decided to have for myself is to do as that woman did and try to determine what thoughts are causing what emotions. After the transformation she went through and turning her life around completely, I know that I should be able to do the same especially because my situation isn't as "extreme" as hers.

Marriage Intimacy

This week in class, we discussed the issue of marital intimacy and the different effects it can have or different ways it is abused etc. There were multiple questions people had on the issue of sex, some of which were questions I had as well. As we talked on this subject, it was interesting to see the different perspectives people had and to listen to the class's comments. I definitely learned a lot about sexual intimacy and not only the effects of what it can do to you but also what it can do to those around you. Sex isn't really a topic I've ever been comfortable talking about, but I am grateful for all I've learned on it in class.

Hey!!!! Sorry completely forgot to post last week so I'll make sure to add another one for this week!

Anyways, we've continued to talk about courting and dating in this class. Who knew it could be so informative? There's so much more to it that I would have never thought to look at. We also talked about the different aspects of the married life and how they can affect not only those that are married but also those around them like their children. It was interesting to see just how many different factors of marriage can affect children. It was interesting to see that while children are growing up, the way they see their parents behaving influences them quite a bit which actually makes a lot of sense. Children should be influenced by their parents because it is the parents that they should be learning from. Their parents should be the one to teach them what they need to know. It is really sad when parents develop bad habits that ultimately lead to their kids having the same habits because that is what they were raised with and really that is all they know...

Love is in the air....

In Marriage and Family this week, we have been talking about relationships and falling. It seems rather fitting to be discussing this topic considering tomorrow is Valentine's Day. So first of all...Happy Valentine's Day (well early Valentine's Day anyways). As I was doing the reading this week, I found the chapter of falling in love interesting. I think one of the things I read about that I thought was most interesting that men have a higher tendency to have the whole "love-at-first-sight" experience than women. I have always found the idea of falling in love with someone the moment you first see them, to be a female concept.

I also found it intriguing that there were so many different types of love. I always knew that there was the kind of love that a couple felt for one another, and I knew there was the kind of love that friends feel for each other or just people in general. However,  I didn't ever realize that there could be "sub-divisions" within the general categories of love. I had never looked at it that way before. There are some of the sub-sets of love that did make sense, but I found that others didn't as much. For example, it was said that one type of love is "playful love." This kind of love is referring to when it is treated lightly. People who are this way tend to have more sexual partners than people of other grouping. I personally never would have classified this kind of behavior as "love," because of my beliefs and what  I was taught love was.

It has definitely been interesting studying this side of dating and courtship. It has brought a lot of new ideas and perspectives to mind. If anything I think this particular topic has been one the most interesting subjects we've talked about in class. I have actually enjoyed studying the different levels of dating and love in depth.